City morning.

Thursday.. September... New England.
My first morning in quiet in along time. As I sit here near the open window, with the morning sun, listening to the rush of city life, I feel like life may turn out alright.
The past 2 weeks have been an insane roller coaster of fear and turmoil for me.
But I am here, and I am on solid ground.
I had decided to move to New Hampshire once again, Having tied up things in Arizona... things left over form child hood, from teen years and early adulthood. I went back to Arizona chasing a dream, and Left there knowing where I belong.
I am grateful to be back in New England. There is still work to do for sure, but I feel like I have that work to do, as opposed to looking for something that is not there.
My community is good and strong, my family is loving and kind and quite possibly, my relationship may work out for the better.
So much work has been plowed through with my partner and I in the past couple weeks, total chaos and break down of things, but. Maybe it is great for the Phoenix to burn.. we all know what comes next.
What I would really like is a Zen Garden to live in.
Regardless.
I am back in New England, and I have a lot of good things to do. I am grateful for that.
Where to start...
I know that is an answer that will come.
Thank you Universe, for putting me where I go, as insane as the sea was to travel on.
Autumn is started, Leaves will change and I am near Boston. Much goodness abounds.

schweeeeeet

So, Today I FINALLY feel like I am going back to my good life back east. Now that all the working is done, and I can start pulling my house apart, I feel good about it.
I am, this morning, Re-Membering all of my good parts, all of the pumpkins, and good eating, and comradery, all of the seasonal light changes.  I am re-membering Nisu and Craft Fairs. I am Re-Membering how to create, and Focus to create.
And goodness...and in between starting writing this and now, I have eaten and talked to ppl... so I've lost my train of thought. time do so stuff....

I never understood how people just all of a sudden pulled their children from school one day, and left.
I do now. And I don't like it one bit. But I know it is the rite course of action.
I am over tired tonight, so everything sucks - my house, my anxiety about moving, I can't think straight.
I know tomorrow will be better.
I know I am doing a good thing by moving back east, and it is surreal but it will get done.
I am grateful to be done with overnight cab work.
I for sure don't like being where I am at tonight, with my anxiety form no sleep. I remember this feeling of overwhelm and panic all too well from 2 am wake ups and day long zombie modes.
But. I know it will be okay.
I'm just tired.
and things are moving along.
Back to new England by the last week in September.