Brain Dump

So much has been going on in my head lately, and I need a brain dump. Not for recognition, not got praise or acknowledgement- just to dump.
Social media. Social media is a time suck and has been a way to connect and feel like I have had acknowledgement as a person for a long time. It no longer feels that way. It feels now, as though it is a waste and a succubus. it feels like ego ad like it takes from my daily understanding and experience of the world around me. It is no good. I want to remove myself from it, but like any addiction, I am afraid of loosing out, I am afraid that it is good off FB I wont have contact with my friends and family. which is absurd. FB has made it so that i dont have in interact with other people, that i dont have to have face to face with others to know how they are or what they are doing.. but this is bad. I have lost personal contact with all of my tribe because of it. I no longer have hour long conversations with people about meaningful things, because i do not make the time, when i can just 'check fb'. LAME. I am gearing up to be all done.
life. changes-
I am getting older, and things are feeling like they are seriously shifting. for the calmer and for the  better. I do not know what the change is, but i know my life will be very different than it has been. I feel like i am settling into who I have become for the next phase of life. I have gone through the 'finding myself' thing, all the explorations and chaos and I am pretty solid about my self. I am great to learn about so much in this world, all about interesting things, to have knowledge like good, solid books on a shelf. At this point, I don't feel the need to travel far and wide, to uproot and change seasonally. I am glad to be grounded and work with what is in my realm now. I feel as though I am waiting and watching the world around me to see what I want to do within it. I am perfectly content to sit on my porch and watch the birds, maybe make a loaf of bread and wait for the kids to come home.
Business.... I am not interested in making a huge business venture rite now. I lack the chaotic flash of inspiration that I have done all of my previous major moves and builds. I don't feel the need to create amazing products to wow and woo the public with. I'm perfectly fine just hanging out. I dont feel like i need to prove myself.
Personae.. Sure, everyone needs to create themselves in life, to have a color and a contrast. I feel like I have done so much of that in this life. I am tired of the ego of 'witchcraft' and the cool kids in the square. I have no drive to be mysterious or selfish. I am happy to sit by and watch the garden grow. I am a mom, I have things to do, I have kids to care for and teach, a tax bill to pay to ensure our home stays ours. I have a man in my life to attend to in loving ways as I can.
Sure, I have aspirations of future house on land, somewhere in the back of my head... but rite now is the present, and I really would like to live it with ease and grace. I want clothes that fit and look easy, and I want my kids to have the same. I would like to take a building trades class, so I can do the work needed on this house (i never feel confident to do any form of carpentry).
But, now, I just want to be for a while.
Brain dump accomplished for a bit.