schweeeeeet

So, Today I FINALLY feel like I am going back to my good life back east. Now that all the working is done, and I can start pulling my house apart, I feel good about it.
I am, this morning, Re-Membering all of my good parts, all of the pumpkins, and good eating, and comradery, all of the seasonal light changes.  I am re-membering Nisu and Craft Fairs. I am Re-Membering how to create, and Focus to create.
And goodness...and in between starting writing this and now, I have eaten and talked to ppl... so I've lost my train of thought. time do so stuff....

I never understood how people just all of a sudden pulled their children from school one day, and left.
I do now. And I don't like it one bit. But I know it is the rite course of action.
I am over tired tonight, so everything sucks - my house, my anxiety about moving, I can't think straight.
I know tomorrow will be better.
I know I am doing a good thing by moving back east, and it is surreal but it will get done.
I am grateful to be done with overnight cab work.
I for sure don't like being where I am at tonight, with my anxiety form no sleep. I remember this feeling of overwhelm and panic all too well from 2 am wake ups and day long zombie modes.
But. I know it will be okay.
I'm just tired.
and things are moving along.
Back to new England by the last week in September.

Slip Slide Melting...

So, this is wringing around, pinging around in my head---
I met someone. And I utterly hated him. Despised to the point of seething anger for an entire week.
I was going to stab him when I saw him again. I was going to demolish him.
And then I agreed to meet, to talk.
And All I wanted to do was hold him, to help him, to make it better and cry.
And every day, I learn more about him, and I like him even more than the day before.
And I trust him, he is my friend.
And he amuses me, He is an evil funny thing.
I am so grateful I was wrong..
and It reminds me that My Multiverse doesn't work like other's does.
Mine is always the opposite of everyone else's fairy tale.

I saw the utter worst there was to see as the first meeting/first impression... and now I get to learn his light every day.
In all other things I see the best in people when I first meet them... and progressively they get worse. Day by day until I can no longer even see them, I only see resentment.
This person I started at the worst place... and seem to be going uphill.
heh. Maybe that's it.
Just maybe...

bed...

Wondering about witchy worlds and where my altar has gone... I have not had one up for months.
Autumn leaves swirl around my imagination and I have released my time frame of returning to New England. It was stressing me to the point of neglecting all the things I held dear in daily life.
I seem to have found my shoes again, my feet are laughingly planted on the ground.
Now, If I could only add the rite partner.... I really do want my person to run with. I have Maggie, but I have come to know I need an adult, too. She does in a way as well. Someone other than me, to interact with.
She starts school at a new place this year. I need a new Job. I have been Cabbing, and I absolutely adore it, but I don't think it will work with Maggie being home...
I will try though.
I am home, in my own bed, alone with the Dog. Erica and Chew are asleep in Maggie's room.
Maggie comes home Wednesday night.
Life. this Life.
This life....

Stay a Prayer for me... Miles to go before I sleep...

Listening to Sponge's Rotting Pinata, while Waiting for calls on Zombie Cabbie duty...
Soul stirring things....
Life has been so odd lately. Maggie has been away, and will be home soon.
We are supposed to move back to NH in October. I am working a lot. The Cabbie Gig is really good for me. It gets me out into the public again, with people. Makes me look at me, and see things, take some time for me with me and spruce me up a little. Kind of like a fun little game of play pretend. Made some new friends, some close people, and people I wonder how much will hurt to come circle with.
The moon has been amazing lately... I will miss the open desert sky. Quiet solitude does me so very well. Hope Maggie and I can come to an energetic agreement on this.
Kiesha is pregnant, boy should that be interesting.
Maggie is going to go to the school I went to as a child. I swore inside out I would never ever put her there... but need dictates.  And I hope it goes well. It's only a couple months.
I have been listening to different music, things I remember and things that are new.
Emotions are interesting lately.
Also I think I have met my match in attitude. I know it will end badly. But, for now, it entertains me.
I wonder what it will be like when Maggie comes home.
I wonder how leaving this place will be.
I will miss my nephew.
I am me.. again... someone I have been looking for a while.
I wonder how they will react back east to me...

Miles to go before I sleep...

todayis nice.

So, there's so much going on, I am working 2 jobs and the Herb work.. I am tired, happy, sad, worn, good, bad and all in between.
Going Back to NH is stirring up my life. Its all good. Old things need releasing, New things are glorious. Things I never thought I would have are coming into my life on real terms, and My community and I are getting so excited. I had my friend Sarah here for a week, that was so fun! Maggie is still in Nh, and I don't know if she's staying there or not. I kind of hope she is, for all intents and purposes of my working hard for the money to get the rest of our life there. At least that foot will be grounded in that place.
I have been Saging a lot, and thinking of making a sage soap. I also have orders to fill that I am waiting on supplies to do, the natural health food store has panned out better than i expected. There are etsy orders and things are good. I am healthy and happy with thoughts of my future.
It's damn hot in Az, and I am glad for my swampy cooler .
Well, suppose I should  get my tookis in gear and  do stuff....

How will it be?

Some days I still miss you so much. Songs in the air you tried to sing to me that I passed off, thinking you'd always be there. Things I took for granted, mannerisms we share.. Catching a glimpse of you in the background or hearing your voice. When you talk to me

I get lost. That hope I burry aches. 

I'm going home... I will see you again. 

And how will that be? 

Elephants in shoes.....