I'll be needing stitches...

6 am Monday. Off to another work week. Making my way through life one day at a time with the information I have. Tiring up loose ends, making apologies, making new friends. 

Mountains and Wildness

You Don’t Need A Man, You Need a Goddamn Warrior~

“To my sweet wild woman, I know why it hasn’t worked out with anyone else—you don’t need a man, but a goddamn warrior.

You are the strength of Turkish coffee at sunrise darlin’ and don’t try to pretend that you’re not.

You are one of the wild ones, and no matter how you tried to hide that fact, you can’t be anything other than what you are—and that’s okay. You are just as you are supposed to be, magnificently wild in all of your chaotic beauty.

I know you’ve had your heart broken and I know that you don’t understand why it always seems to never work out, but I’ve finally figured it out:

You don’t need a man, you need a goddamn warrior.

It doesn’t matter if this warrior drives a Jeep or a shiny sports car, and it won’t matter if he wears silk or cotton—it will not even matter if he works in a high-rise, or on the night shift.

What is going to matter is that when it comes to taking bets on your heart, he is going to be high stakes—all the way.

This warrior of yours will crave your strength, and your intensity. He’s going to look at you and not see something to tame, but something to just fuckin’ admire. This warrior of yours won’t be someone that you can manipulate or play with as you have in the past, so honey, don’t even try—and trust me, you’re going to love him even more because of it.

Because you aren’t just a woman, you’re a goddamn goddess.

Your fierceness is going to bring him to his knees every single time he looks into your gorgeous eyes, but the difference is, unlike the others, he isn’t going to be scared off. No, this time, you will have finally met your match—because a simple man for you just won’t do.

You need someone to match the fire in your eyes with his own. Not only that, my little wild thing, but this warrior of yours is going to want to encourage the flames instead of trying to douse them with his own insecurities.

Because for you, a warrior is the only man who will ever live in the wild with you.

He may not have to slay any dragons to earn your love, but he would still walk through fire if it meant seeing that amazing smile that you hold in reserve for only him.

This is the thing, free spirit, this warrior you seek….he’s seeking you too.

For he’s had failed relationships that have left him wondering if maybe he was meant to be alone for the rest of his journey—and you’re going to change all of that for him. You both have been travelling along on your separate journeys and have been doing an okay job at it, but that about to change too.

Because baby, when you and this warrior of yours meet and collide—it’s going to be a love set on fire.

Don’t try to run this time—I know your heart has been broken before, and that you’re not used to things working out, but this time it’s different. Give yourself time to see that.

This warrior of yours needs to see that it’s possible for someone to see all of his wild, and still be there when he craves his freedom and ventures off into this world for a bit. You won’t always need to follow him, just as he won’t always follow you. Let yourself stay wild, even when all you want to do is curl up in that spot along his side and forget the rest of the world exists.

Let yourself still wander naked under the full moon, and drink moonshine with the stars. Let yourself feel the pull of the wind on your heart, and the sun toward a new journey. Because this warrior is going to love you because of your wild—and he’ll want you to keep it.

You’ll be in this together now, this amazing, crazy, chaotic, wonderfully heartbreaking life—because it takes a warrior to love a goddess. And it takes a goddess to show a warrior what real love is.

So pack up your insecurities and your ideas about picket fences, because that was never you anyway. You were born knowing that you were destined for more, and now is the time for you to see what all those dreams look like.

There is no stopping a love like this, so promise me you’ll hold out just a little bit longer.

Have a little bit of hope, and always give love just one more try, because I promise you my sweet wild woman—the love that you seek is seeking you as well. ”~

~ Kate Rose 

Https://www.facebook.com/wordsofkaterose

16 years and my Warrior, on paper, is as boring as white bread- but in life he is as brilliant as all the stars, he is as charismatic as all the laughter in a gleeful child's heart, and and gentle-strong as the most majestic morning mountain. 

These Seattle days.

Okay. Not really Seattle. But seems like it today. New England is rainy and not freezing today. It's nice. 

Maggie and I have a pretty darn good life now. I finally have my true mate- Tony. I have wanted this for over 15 years. And it has happened. 2 months in and I'm still really happy and content. 

All the things we both went through to end up here seem all worth it. (Tho we'd prefer to not have to do them again.)

3 kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats and family and friends. I think we are doing a-okay. Content and full bellies. Keeping our heads above water and things going along steadily. 

Fingers crossed and breath secretly held for no shoes to drop.  ;) 

I think we finally 'got this yo'....

City morning.

Thursday.. September... New England.
My first morning in quiet in along time. As I sit here near the open window, with the morning sun, listening to the rush of city life, I feel like life may turn out alright.
The past 2 weeks have been an insane roller coaster of fear and turmoil for me.
But I am here, and I am on solid ground.
I had decided to move to New Hampshire once again, Having tied up things in Arizona... things left over form child hood, from teen years and early adulthood. I went back to Arizona chasing a dream, and Left there knowing where I belong.
I am grateful to be back in New England. There is still work to do for sure, but I feel like I have that work to do, as opposed to looking for something that is not there.
My community is good and strong, my family is loving and kind and quite possibly, my relationship may work out for the better.
So much work has been plowed through with my partner and I in the past couple weeks, total chaos and break down of things, but. Maybe it is great for the Phoenix to burn.. we all know what comes next.
What I would really like is a Zen Garden to live in.
Regardless.
I am back in New England, and I have a lot of good things to do. I am grateful for that.
Where to start...
I know that is an answer that will come.
Thank you Universe, for putting me where I go, as insane as the sea was to travel on.
Autumn is started, Leaves will change and I am near Boston. Much goodness abounds.

schweeeeeet

So, Today I FINALLY feel like I am going back to my good life back east. Now that all the working is done, and I can start pulling my house apart, I feel good about it.
I am, this morning, Re-Membering all of my good parts, all of the pumpkins, and good eating, and comradery, all of the seasonal light changes.  I am re-membering Nisu and Craft Fairs. I am Re-Membering how to create, and Focus to create.
And goodness...and in between starting writing this and now, I have eaten and talked to ppl... so I've lost my train of thought. time do so stuff....

I never understood how people just all of a sudden pulled their children from school one day, and left.
I do now. And I don't like it one bit. But I know it is the rite course of action.
I am over tired tonight, so everything sucks - my house, my anxiety about moving, I can't think straight.
I know tomorrow will be better.
I know I am doing a good thing by moving back east, and it is surreal but it will get done.
I am grateful to be done with overnight cab work.
I for sure don't like being where I am at tonight, with my anxiety form no sleep. I remember this feeling of overwhelm and panic all too well from 2 am wake ups and day long zombie modes.
But. I know it will be okay.
I'm just tired.
and things are moving along.
Back to new England by the last week in September.

Slip Slide Melting...

So, this is wringing around, pinging around in my head---
I met someone. And I utterly hated him. Despised to the point of seething anger for an entire week.
I was going to stab him when I saw him again. I was going to demolish him.
And then I agreed to meet, to talk.
And All I wanted to do was hold him, to help him, to make it better and cry.
And every day, I learn more about him, and I like him even more than the day before.
And I trust him, he is my friend.
And he amuses me, He is an evil funny thing.
I am so grateful I was wrong..
and It reminds me that My Multiverse doesn't work like other's does.
Mine is always the opposite of everyone else's fairy tale.

I saw the utter worst there was to see as the first meeting/first impression... and now I get to learn his light every day.
In all other things I see the best in people when I first meet them... and progressively they get worse. Day by day until I can no longer even see them, I only see resentment.
This person I started at the worst place... and seem to be going uphill.
heh. Maybe that's it.
Just maybe...