Im starting to notice a Pattern in the winters. When weather starts to settle into a cold sameness and a closed-in feeling of solid sets its feet, I start to look more closely at things and notice detail. Patchauli becomes a major part of my life at this time of year. Why? Because it smells like dirt and trees... a scent missing from my every day in the winter. The ground is frozen, I cannot reach the soil, so I substitute with memory. I go inside and use images and feeling to subsidize the lack of Tree-Talks, and Sun-Soaks. I know I could still go outside, but I seriously dislike the cold. Going outside to visit the Trees and Mother & Brother is a special treat and occasion in the Winter. Summer finds all windows open all the time, There is no separation at that time.

This past few weeks... :)

Wow, What a crazy past few weeks! i didn't have anything to write about until i sat here at 9 am three weeks ago talking with Leanne and decided to meet her to talk about opening a space. Then- BLAM! rushing, whirlwind, quickness, hard work, talking and planning, sleeping and eating here and there, and finally- OPEN THE DOOR! And this past weekend happened. Our Herbal Shop is OPEN. A Real, Bonified Herbal shop. It should sound Strange to me, it probably should feel shocking and weird. But it doesn't- it feels completely comfortable, not foreign at all. Maybe because I've done similar things before, organizing and pulling people together. Or, maybe- more on my line of thinking - It feels normal, Because it IS normal. "you know what is for you by how it feels" - and it can't get more normal feeling than this :)
I have been supremely Blessed with the Love and Support of my family and friends in all of this. My family has been so supportive and Helpful with Maggie, and my friends have pitched in to bring the shop together. I couldn't ask for better people in my life. Even those who are not rite here in New Hampshire have been so supportive and encouraging. I really know the encouragement of people like Alyssa and Heather and others who have Ordered from Sun Moon Stars, have helped my drive in the business so much, they keep me on track (especially rite now with the Holiday Line!! ) I feel a drive to get things done with them standing behind me, they make me to know my work Matters. Between them and the people i have met Via the shop coming together and the people coming into the shop (the rekindled friendships-like Mary :) ) , I know i am so richly Blessed. I am so happy that people are as joyful about all of this as I am. *sigh* I love it.
I look forward to next weekend as well- The Rollinsford/South Berwick Christmas Parade! I will be ordering more bulk herbs this next week, and restocking sold items from the SMSH Family, and Myself. I get to make Lip Balms (candy cane! WOOHOO!) and Scrubs, and Body Butters this week :D
Oh, hahaha! and its Nisu Week! Wednesday, I will be making Nisu for my Family. I have to make an extra t-ring to send with Eddie to Work :D I will, of course, cry cause I will miss A&E, but Maggs will be helping, so It's OK. dang it, thinking about it makes me miss them already. Poo.
well, just wanted to update, so I could thank everyone for their amazing help and to say I'll be back to a bit more norm mow, because Its up and running - so i don't have to. :) upkeep is one thing, promotion and new product and classes. But the renovation and set up is done. *whew* it's like building a house, and filling it. Now, its done and all it needs is up keep and continual excitement and input and energy!!
I am looking forward to the workshops and classes. I will do more and more advertising of course. It has to be a continual movement, there wont be any stillness in the place! :D (could there be with me abound??) ;)

Venice and Spain

Im listening to a beautiful classical station from Venice. I wonder what beautiful things are in this big, big world. I listen to David's stories of Gaudi and Spain and I wonder what it must be like, to travel to far places, to expand horizons beyond the eastern coast of this completely blind country of free, brave and lazy. I read Scott's accounts of Scotland and wonder what it must be like, dreaming of castles.
I dream of my library, of home with cottage gardens, of family and tradition. I day dream of Holidays and Busy days, of grocering and gardening. i dont want a life of novelty, i want to experience and feel all of these beautiful things, not to do them just to say i have.

I got 2 job offers today- one at Hannaford, cashiering, which i have wanted fro a while, and one at a local Pizza place owned by Greeks. Hannaford seems so much the better for me, meeting people, making friends, air conditioning, reliability. the pizza place will be hot, and i am afraid of the owner, she intimidates me. The pizza place wants someone LONG term, and i cant see myself staying that long. *sigh* Im going to talk to Hannaford's tomorrow and probably take it. I want to work for Hannaford.

summers warmth

Finally, a warm summer day.... the plants are going to be so happy :)
Got the website done, with help 0f Guggs the Great, of course. Been working with "karate-chop Dave" as Moo calls him, on the business. Never knew he was so keen on this stuff- but you know me, i think everyone is a moron until they show me otherwise. wow, thats an ugly thing to say.
no job yet, still searching. Have been doing side work though. Shippped three orders out since yesterday morning- woot!
Maggs isnt is school yet, looked at Farmington Daycare, but Little Blessings has spoiled me so much that i am always hesitant. Hopeing for a Job in Portsmouth, that way she can just go back there. :)
the gardens are doing fine, not dead, and the corn is getting big.
wow, i have not much to say, just waiting. patience grasshopper.
sproing!

This Cool Summer.

I am always asked about Life- whats new, Hows it going.. whatcha' been up to? So, i guess that means i need to update- much easier to write it all down, rather than re-write it all constantly. First off, Still living in Farmington with Steven, and yes, still loving it. What a Blessing. I've slowed down enough to get back into the natural rhythm of things, i can see again. I can breathe and feel, i am One with all that Is. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Still no full-time, gainful financial employment, but i have no stress about it. I have come to know that what i contribute to the household is enough, as long as i continue to search for that outside income. (Altho i probably make most of the mess i clean, and such).
The website is done, it is being edited this weekend, then will be ready for the open date. WOOT! 44 products listed, all made by me- Bring on the orders! I am working with a Friend on Business Development for SMS, which is super helpful. Nothing is happening rite now, we're in sort-out phase, but will be moving ground soon. Nothing ever happens fast enough for my liking, but meh- im glad for the mentor ship. (I want the goose that lays the Golden Egg, and I want it NOW)
May be going to go look at a car soon, been driving Steven's Silverado. Sold the Blazer to go to H-e-double hockey sticks, so came home without a vehicle.
Speaking of coming home- how nice. Still. I am so loving having the friends i do in this little place- 4 houses, 4 families, all with kids, all friendly. The moms are like a little association by themselves. Its so nice to have other Women to talk to. Lisa came to hang with me this morning, so super awesome, and I hang with Trav and Brandy often. I think i am in love with their little baby girl, she and I are Buddies. i love being comfortable enough with these ppl to just be invited to sit and talk, and that they are comfortable enough to just come to my house, too. (ok, Steven's, but he says its ours... :) Steven is my Uncle, BTW ).
Maggs has amazing friends to play with, and im not scared to let her go out to the common area alone, or into any of the friend's houses. We all share a common way of raising our children- which is SO wonderful, we are non-violent and respectful and gentle in our ways. We are a bunch of Hippies, altho travis would kick my butt if i told HIM that (so much for non-violence, eh?) well, all in all we are doing really good. Stress level is null an void, I have a massive comparison point via the Indiana trek, so.. not even He-Whom-Shall-Remain-Nameless can harm me anymore. haha.. not Voldemort, silly. Yup, im not even afraid of him anymore. Indiana really did the trick- it was like- "Here- have a dose of contrast- as big and heavy as a ton of bricks, and ill throw in humility and comparison and a jump start on Gratitude for you as well!!) dang. Thanks, but can we not do that again. Ike asks if i think i will remember it- I will never forget. I will always MAKE myself remember. Always.
Nothing will ever be taken for granted again. between that and the Nameless One, life kind of got Solid Definition... which is good.
I can honestly, for the first time in my life- say with full conviction- I know what I want.
And that is good.
Love, Dawn

Turn a corner, stand in the Sun.

So, to change the static energy of this blog form the past, i have decided to rename it and push it into a new direction. I would love to just delete the whole damn thing and forget it ever happened - BUT. And this is a positive- IF i do that, i wont remember, because as much as i want to forget, i need to remember. If i ever start to take what i have here for granted, i have vowed to re-read these early postings and remember what i went through, and hopefully i will access the emotion with the experience. That way, i will never forget how truly blessed and lucky i am to have the people in my life that i do. I really do have all the opportunity and love in the world, and i never want to forget that. So... i keep the earlier postings.
Now, onto the now-ness of life.
AHHHHH... so good. We are Home. We are back in New Hampshire. I have been working on the new website and it is coming along wonderfully. I have so much perspective from past events, i am taking nothing for granted, no excuses, no slacking. I am lucky, loved and gifted. And i know this :). Do what you love- no better time. So. The weather has been amazing, Life is good, and I am blissful.
And Oh, So Grateful. More to come :)