Saturday... saturday.

Today. Today I work on Magical Space. I grasp at core things needing to be retwined. It is a reweaving of soul. The pattern has changed and so the threads have some misconceptions in their spacing. As I come across them, I will be imbibing them with new energy, different colors and warmths than they have had pastly. Today is of WildDen and Future allowance workings. Today is new day of orbs and weaving strands of golden light. Today is of new soul songs and clear vibrations of twinkling sharp imagery.
Today.

Snow Dog

The weather has been pure snow for the past 12+ hours. it has been interesting to watch, and I am glad to have a good home to be in. I am totally loving my basement den. It is not finished by far, but it for sure is half started! i can sit near the window comfortably and drink tea and write this blog.
I have been listening to Rush for a few days now. Thank gods for them, they are putting my soul back in working order. It is beautiful to sit with my feet up in my favorite chair in the library I have always dreamed of, looking to one side & seeing birds and snow drifts and to the other my antique desk, steaming tea, cards and lamp. I am so happy to be making my personal space. SO grateful. I am happy to have the pull to paint again. oh, oh, dear soul.. dear soul...
I am so happy with this new found piece of mind, peace in soul. All because a hideaway piece of ground... magical beautiful things.
Paint. I want to paint again...
*sigh* Pull....

I never...

I never wanted to be 'an herbalist'. I only wanted the training to be more self reliant and closer to nature. I took it to an extreme. I did good with it, and it was nice, but it was never an intention to make it my identity.
And i am relieved to be able to release it.
Tonight, I am very tired, but I am writing, because I can feel the underlying flow of inspiration. I can feel something... something coming up from under.
Its like a bulb pushing through the soil, bloom aiming upwards- reaching for the sun, knowing it is going to break through.
I have been listening to Rush. It pulls my soul... more than most.
Memories of a distant future-past melding into heart song of paint flow to paper & horizons....
Tear down of physical definition to rebuild and enliven my soul. This is the theme of my life now. I am in appreciation of it.
... and this is my beauty.

.

Nisu Day. I don't want to affirm my yuck, but I dislike the ... whole. I want to be in the woods, in a quiet place of solitude Hobbit hole just watching the birds and doing my own thing...

Dreamers turn to Look at the Cards...

 

....All of us get lost in the darkness, Dreamers learn to steer by the stars...

I did. 

Desert, Sky, Car, Open roads. 

I don't know what I would have done with Geddy's Voice, without Neil's Timing, with out Alex's reverb. Without them, I would have lost the will to fight. They taught me the magic of soul, they held my hand when all else was hurt anger and evil. I applaud them, I bless them, and my life is in gratitude to them.

There is art in my soul, pain flow to paper, there is magic in my fingers, there is knowing in my Soul.

Songs of time and sea, song and dance, and old tan corduroy pants. 

There are sides and sides and sides and sides to me.

There is release and no relief... There is understanding and a path long walked and never will the wander end. 

There are keyboards clicking and water spilling.

Spiderplants and nightmareish memory energy. 

There are orange velvet chairs and windows too small to release.

There is a wooden deck where the sun and moon rise and dream flow freer than any open sky.

There are Electrical storms in my veins, and pools of gleaming star water.

There is ego and flow, 

there is wind of change, and reverb of piscean soul.

There are fringes and flames

There are never forgotten dreams put aside and pulled out past the doldrums of modern america.

There are reelings against the man, and hearts of hobbit holes and flows of Verde.

This here and this now are meld, are moldings, are all one thing in all this and all that. 

This is eyes to the skies and bootlace.

This is looking through hollow logs, listening to singing frogs, and blues and purple paint.

This is big hair, green drink, and me. 

....and... Me....

...and I

I know that these things I now experience are those which will allow me to feel the fullness of Who I AM in the future. I will be able to feel the joy of hula hooping in twirling-swirling skirts on a Summer day because I felt the way I have now in this Winter dark.
And I can Appreciate that.

Redefine.

Redefinition.
(....That is the name of the game now.
Stupid way of putting it, but it's true.....)
Coming back to core, to a core I have built as I did other life-ly things. Like a notebook set aside for later reading.
I am now looking at the book, and this alien thing is to be integrated and lived.
A beautiful option, for sure.
Core Scents, Feels, Knowings.
And somewhat a battle.
Reeling and Allowing...
Recognizing and Building New.
So here I Am.
*sigh*