So, i seem to be fucking up my own life. i have gone down this spiral of not-knowing and am seeing all kinds of results. I have involved myself in unsavory circumstances (neighbor gossip), Talking badly about people and being ungrateful. I am watching the results of my actions unfold in pretty ugly ways. It sucks. I'm really not liking it, but i dont know if I'm at the point where i feel rock bottom. I dont want to lose everything i have because I am being unconscious though. i know that my thoughts create my world. Everything i think and feel now creates my world/reality. And its wicked starting to get ugly.
I dont have a direction, and I think that is part of it. I am burned out and am at a point where i am going to take a much-needed break. I am taking mon-weds off from EVRYTHING and going to hide out. i think I will be spending a lot of time at the beach.
just watching the waves and looking at the sand particles.
money is VERY tight this month. Even though It shouldnt be, seeing as how Michael is splitting things with me.. *sigh*
ITs all about the thoughts, and I have gotten lost, off track and sunk to the level of mediocre people around me. bah! My fictional self flipped me the bird and walked away.
God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot Change,
The Courage (drive, Energy & inspiration)to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
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