Questions...

So.. .heres my Question at hand. :/ When is enough enough? When is Change inevitable? When the money runs out? and when is that? That is when the motivations run out.. when each day is a chore to even bother with.
I am finding that i dont have inspiration about the shop anymore. Nothing.. its more a chiore than anything, it is no longer my end result- i am not inspired, excited, happy about it. And it is beginning to take it's toll wicked bad. We have had so few customers this month that rent is currently a joke. And I know it is my own fault. i will soon be living my truth, by bruter force if nothing else. I know that Change occurs in accordance with your thoughts and feelings. I KNOW this to be extremely a truth. I know how i am feeling lately, and i so dont like it. I need inspiration, i need fresh ideas, fresh powerful love of what i do. because if i dont have or get that- this place is going to be a memory. Is that what i want? i dont know. i feel bad for all the hard work people put in, but at the same time, i wonder if i am supposed to be doing something else. Tghe issue with all of this is that i dont know WHAT i want to be doing. :/ i dont want to let this place just go for no reason.
I've proven to myself that i can open and run a business. Well? Meh, not really.. haha.. im pretty disorganized, but i can do it. what should be my goal now? what do i want to do? i dont want to be bitter and frantic and shut off to people like some other people i know in the business.. thats not who i want to be.
I am not a medicinal herbalist though. I know i am not here to treat people, i dont think. I like knowing the properties of the herbs, but ive never been confident in my knowledge.
I have to say that I love plants- I found a hazelnut tree in the woods, adn i researched it, and i LOVED that part, i love research and growing plants and the science of them and their beauty
i think i could grow food and sunflowers for ever.. i love it, i love sprouting green, growing beautiful things.
Insert Big Sigh Here. I wish i knew what i wanted next. I would so do it with passion, but i dont know hat to do.. i dont know what i want.
Hear my prayer.. whomever may be listening. Please insert with i seek in my heart.. show me something inspiring and beautiful and true. I feel stuck in an ugly rut.