Supposed to be at school at Christine's today.. but instead, here I sit feeling guilty for staying home. I have a head cold that has been rather ugly. What am I doing about it? Trying to ignore it. Drinking Fire Cider.. and coffee. Ugh.
Whatever.
Lets start on thoughts. Thoughts. Thoughts...
Manifest creations.
My Study is where I love to be. I think I could be perfectly content sitting at my desk in the window, researching all day. I love the feel of my personal space. The wooden shelving in the hutches that hold the array of books, the candles, the carafes of rain water, colored pens, photos of gods/icons, knives of various kinds, lush curtains and fabrics. All confined in a small room that I also sleep in. But I love being here. One day I will live in a cottage, work from home, concocting for people while they sit in such a room. I will have my work area set up like this, one of a kind place, a place like no other, where people will step INTO the Magic of this process and experience with me. If only for a brief moment.
My shop now is sort of this way... but could be so much more this way. eh, whatever.
I realized yesterday, upon coming home for the Renn Faire what a Special Place my shop truly is. I walked in and it was so magical, even in it's quiet state, with no one but the cat and I, it seems so beautiful. My work is not of this modern-american drone society, rather my work pulls people FROM that world, into one of connection. My job is to help people remember who they are at the core, what they wanted to be when they were little. We loose so much of this in our day to day lives, and people are so afraid to look at it, for fear of all they have built shattering and crumbling to the ground. The truth of the matter is that what was built, so many times, was built on false pretenses. Dreams built on fear of rejection, of failure- instead of dreams built on true Soul. Soul's longing knows what is rite for you, rite for us all. I am finding that more and more these days. I know for sure it is why I love being in my study so much. Here I am in the flow of Knowledge, I am in the feel of the Magic of my own Life. Here, I am inspired, I know what I want to do, Who I want to be, and it reminds me so much of what is to come. Being here helps me to see clearly what I can do to actualize and life the dreams I hold. How I can mold all of this creativity and connection into physical daily living.
Once, i asked the question, and set forth the intention- How do I? I want to Live the Magical Side every day in my life, I want to integrate all of the things I know to be true, all of the Soul-work and all of the tools I have into every day society- HOW? I am learning how. I am learning and seeing what to do. Seems so far out of the box, i am sure to some, but to me- Living the Magic every day is a beautiful correct way for me to be, and it will help so many along my path. So many people (mostly adults) have lost their spark- they have let 'money' drive them, society tell them what to be, parent's dreams be their dreams instead of having their own. This is where my Magic and Knowledge step in - to hand back to people what once was theirs.
When I was younger, I remember knowing that I was a collector of souls. I didn't really know what the meant- I only knew it was who I am. At the time, People my age would flock to me for my 'light' for the sparkle they saw in me, and wanted to be within themselves. I thought that those events had something to do with it. I was correct. But not in the way i had seen it then. Being a collector of souls is not something of selfishness- I am not collecting things for my own use. It is completely the opposite, I am a guide for others to help them in the collection of their OWN souls- to retrieve what was lost, their own sense of self, their own dreams, aspirations and goals. I am here to be a light in the dark, to live and lead by example. I am a teacher of Infinite Possibilities. I have never seen the side of 'I can't' I always have known that if there is the will, there is a way. It is always that, Always.
In growing, and reading, and learning over the past years, I have gained the physical tools (which aren't physical at ALL) to be able to help others to see their potential and live what they desire. It is all choices.
When all of this started to come to my attention in the forefront, (age 16... even though so much magic happened before then as well!!) I had no words for all of this. I didnt know HOW to tell people of this Magic of life- the infinite Possibilities of their existence. I would wander around saying 'I AM- and YOU are...' My friends thought I was pretty crazy. ...I suppose People STILL think I am pretty crazy. And It's ok, Lead by Example... BE crazy, BE wild, BE life, BE love! BE all the amazing things you EVER wished to be, there is nothing stopping you. EVER.
wow, this entry is long. I guess I just wish to say, I love the Merlyn-izing I ma going through, I love the Learning, The Magical Life I lead, The love I have and the People in it. I am granted with a gift- and I pray to work with it to the best of my abilities for my whole of Life. I hope to inspire and teach, to light ways and lay soft bedding for those to fall.
I am blessed, and I am grateful for it.
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