Newness

The newness of this place. It is so big, and to fill it with so much is... a lot to be.
I was looking on pinterest, and gaining so much inspiration.
But I am tired. I want to tell people that I am so tired.. I want to scream it to the world in a whisper and then fall into a refreshing deep sleep. I want to sleep for days and wake up beautiful, refreshed and happy. I feel like if I say that I am tired, I am complaining and whining. But really, I am so tired. So Very, Very, Very tired. ...and it;s not going away.
I want to make this home beautiful, Magical and Perfectly amazing. I cannot even begin to think about doing it though... I try. I do little pieces and then stop, because I am so tired. I am overwhelmed.
I look at the stacks of boxes and sigh and walk away. I don't even know where to start because I don't have the energy to do any of it. But I keep trying.
I think maybe all the years of pushing has lead me to exhaustion point. The problem with that is that I cannot be tired now. I need to be okay. I need to be able to use the wonderful gift of time I have wisely and to my advantage. I want to, I dream of it. I need rest. I need to sleep. I have a little time... maybe I will go nap.