Sunrise... third cuppa Joe. It's a thinly foggy Rolli Morning.
I am In my TBT sweatshirt. Tut's Adventurers Club, and all.
What is my adventure?
What do I genuinely want to be doing?
Well- things that excite me and Inspire.
Things that are helpful.
Things that sustain.
Things that make me and others happy.
But this rut. Brian called it a rut, as I recall.
We are coming into the Autumn Season. This is always a wonderful time.
I love the changing seasons. I get so tired of Summer.
And in winter, by March.. I am so tired of Winter, too.
I know my shop can be and is profitable.
I want it to be so much more for me.
I am grateful for all of the things that have come before this moment, to give me this understanding, these knowledge-pictures.
I am grateful for all of the little chances I have been given over and over.
I am ready to give back.
I now want to have a 'Healthy Bank Account' and be in a place of much money abundance. I want to be well-off, and to afford what I need and Want.
What do I want? A house, with 12 acres. Apple trees and chickens.
My Family. To be caught up on all of my bills, and to pay all incoming bills on time and in full.
I want to go shopping at Children's place for Maggie, and Thrifting whenever I choose. I want to Craft. I want to Hang out with Friends.
I want my truck to be in perfect condition inside and out.
I want new shoes. I want Beautiful Holidays.
I want Vacations and Ease.
I want to be completely different than my mother....
So that Maggie can be that, too.
Love, Dawn
Friday, September 7, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Labor
Labor day. Stevie Nicks.
What is this? What am I doing?
I just want to enjoy these moments, without fear. without stress.
I am.
The weather has cooled. Life has many choices at present.. as always.
I am mystic, I am farmer, I am breadmaker and Mother. I am.
I am wanting, I am looking, I am changing.
Season.
Sunshine, Changed.
Clouds floating, Misguided souls, heavy and light.
Self Sufficient.
Forever in Growth.
Forever in Mystery.
Forever in Solidity Searching.
Same Pictures replayed, Day after day.
Moments 2 am fear and chaos.
Look around, eyes overflowing.
Organization in Organizations.
Stop.
What is this? What am I doing?
I just want to enjoy these moments, without fear. without stress.
I am.
The weather has cooled. Life has many choices at present.. as always.
I am mystic, I am farmer, I am breadmaker and Mother. I am.
I am wanting, I am looking, I am changing.
Season.
Sunshine, Changed.
Clouds floating, Misguided souls, heavy and light.
Self Sufficient.
Forever in Growth.
Forever in Mystery.
Forever in Solidity Searching.
Same Pictures replayed, Day after day.
Moments 2 am fear and chaos.
Look around, eyes overflowing.
Organization in Organizations.
Stop.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
tornado normal.
Dreamed about Tornadoes last night. Again. Always the same stuff.
And I'm sure it's because of my arguing with Pat. This time there were 2. I think I am getting comfortable in them, with the tornadoes, because I am not scared in the dreams. Last night, I just knew I needed to get people into the basement, as well as the animals. Isaac was there, too. But, it was strange- he was a representation of Pat. Gross, Old man-stuff Pat. ew.
I'm wiped out today- completely exhausted. I could sleep for days I think. I am THAT tired. I am not yawning tired, I am mentally and physically just mush.
I love pumpkins, Btw. Yep, silly but I do. I can see an Orange Sharpie in front of me, and It reminds me of pumpkins. And now, of the oranges on the first No Doubt Album, oh, how my brother loved that.
I have made some new products in the shop, and I am very happy with them. yay me :)
Maggies party went well. Maggie is such an amazing child.
me? just tired.
very tired.
think I will close early and go nap for a little while. yep.
i need to. and then grocery.
And I'm sure it's because of my arguing with Pat. This time there were 2. I think I am getting comfortable in them, with the tornadoes, because I am not scared in the dreams. Last night, I just knew I needed to get people into the basement, as well as the animals. Isaac was there, too. But, it was strange- he was a representation of Pat. Gross, Old man-stuff Pat. ew.
I'm wiped out today- completely exhausted. I could sleep for days I think. I am THAT tired. I am not yawning tired, I am mentally and physically just mush.
I love pumpkins, Btw. Yep, silly but I do. I can see an Orange Sharpie in front of me, and It reminds me of pumpkins. And now, of the oranges on the first No Doubt Album, oh, how my brother loved that.
I have made some new products in the shop, and I am very happy with them. yay me :)
Maggies party went well. Maggie is such an amazing child.
me? just tired.
very tired.
think I will close early and go nap for a little while. yep.
i need to. and then grocery.
Pray Peace
Sunday.
Tornado Dreams. Argument with Pat. Shop in 10 minutes. Not wanting to do anything save for go sit in the Woods. Maggs starts school tomorrow. I have days off soon. I am going to clear Schedules soon. Shop... Investments. Isaac in dreams yuck.
I want to feel good, happy and clear.
At present moment, I do not.
Terry Is having a hard time again. I think It is affecting me.
*sigh*
Pray Peace, goodness and happy.
Tornado Dreams. Argument with Pat. Shop in 10 minutes. Not wanting to do anything save for go sit in the Woods. Maggs starts school tomorrow. I have days off soon. I am going to clear Schedules soon. Shop... Investments. Isaac in dreams yuck.
I want to feel good, happy and clear.
At present moment, I do not.
Terry Is having a hard time again. I think It is affecting me.
*sigh*
Pray Peace, goodness and happy.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
heavy
The Last time I felt like this, my Sister Died.
My heart is sad, I am heavy.
Something is off.
I wish I knew what it was.
I could take Flower Essences, and numb it... but I want to know what it is. I want to know why I feel like this, again.
This one is worse, though.. like something really bad happened, or is about to.
A loss.
*sigh*
Please let this be wrong.
My heart is sad, I am heavy.
Something is off.
I wish I knew what it was.
I could take Flower Essences, and numb it... but I want to know what it is. I want to know why I feel like this, again.
This one is worse, though.. like something really bad happened, or is about to.
A loss.
*sigh*
Please let this be wrong.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Kid Gloves.
*sigh* well. Boy do i learn a lot about things having a shop.
Today I have learned that just because someone 'holds the light', doesn't mean they know as much as that may seem.... or be as much.. or... are as light as all that... or something.
I have asked one of my friends to help me (again, yes.. again...another helper).. whom I was under the impression that would be perfectly fine in the position i put her in. Sigh. Well, she is a 'Light Worker' without proper empathy. oh boy. She has offended a couple people already- one a year ago who left the shop because I put my friend in the position I did. The other.. just today. And a pretty prominent person at that.
I am seeing things i have never seen before, and i know they are all lessons for me- it is all things i need to see, need to experience, and need to wordlessly understand and be able to handle.
did i mention "*sigh*"???
Okay. So, my friend is lighting a fire under my ass to straighten out my shop, and get things how they need to be, and she is also encouraging others to do good things, but how do i tell her she needs more tact?
be Honest. That is how she was with me with the Kris thing..
ugh. I just hope i can salvage the offended party's relationship.
heh. Learning. and i always feel so young.
I always feel like the kid in my world interaction.
I have so much to Handle With Kid Gloves....
yup.
Today I have learned that just because someone 'holds the light', doesn't mean they know as much as that may seem.... or be as much.. or... are as light as all that... or something.
I have asked one of my friends to help me (again, yes.. again...another helper).. whom I was under the impression that would be perfectly fine in the position i put her in. Sigh. Well, she is a 'Light Worker' without proper empathy. oh boy. She has offended a couple people already- one a year ago who left the shop because I put my friend in the position I did. The other.. just today. And a pretty prominent person at that.
I am seeing things i have never seen before, and i know they are all lessons for me- it is all things i need to see, need to experience, and need to wordlessly understand and be able to handle.
did i mention "*sigh*"???
Okay. So, my friend is lighting a fire under my ass to straighten out my shop, and get things how they need to be, and she is also encouraging others to do good things, but how do i tell her she needs more tact?
be Honest. That is how she was with me with the Kris thing..
ugh. I just hope i can salvage the offended party's relationship.
heh. Learning. and i always feel so young.
I always feel like the kid in my world interaction.
I have so much to Handle With Kid Gloves....
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Take two
heh. So, I was going to do some gratitude journaling, with an inkling of just writing, but i spilled my coffee all over my journal, granny's cedar chest and other various things (hope the phone still works!) so. I will write here.
I will write about Pinterest and how it inspires me. I will write about taking another day off. I will write about bread making and life changing.
.... Inspiration. for surely looking at Pinterest is like a huge choice-letting vision board. I get to scroll around through thousands of ideas that other people have gathered, decide which ones I like, and collect them. I get to learn how-to's and adjust my inner being to feel wonderful. Boy do I get lost on there. But it's really great.
I took today off. I decided I would like to have another day to do house-y things. I want to bake 4 more loaves of bread, and freeze them. I would like to strip the bed clothes and wash all of them. I want to sort out my kitchen cup boards. The tedious things are already done- laundry, dishes..
I still have a tiny piece of sneaky feeling going on for not going into the shop. I am trying to loose it in the dust. It wont go away till like 1 or 2.
It's there, because i know it is a privilege to own a shop, to open doors and be there for people. I know I support a community and they expect and look forward to me being in a certain place at a certain time. I know that I am a very lucky person, and I should always take 110% advantage of that gift. But you know what? Taking another day off kind of IS like taking advantage of the situations and gifts. Sure, it may be off-putting to a person or two (hopefully they forgive me), but I am not going to loose my job over it. I can go in tomorrow and lay claim, to my own ways of being. I am fully responsible. And that is a good thing for me. In knowing it is my own place, my own time, i am laying claim to my actions, as well as rewarding myself. Its like Taking an extra day off reminds me of what I have, how I do in my daily life, and allows appreciation for what I have. Today, I will catch up on the neglected things I, even with days off, can never seem to get to.
(my only fear is going outside to the laundry mat in daylight- haha! someone will catch me! maybe I will change the sheets, and wash the dirty ones after 5 tonight ;) HAH!)
so.. Bread. I am looking forward to making more bread.
Also, something I am noticing in my life is that I dont seem to need so much clutter. I am wishing I had some boxes up here today, pack up some random stuff so I have more room. Sneaking down for boxes may be in order, however. of course... I could pile all the extra on my dresser... and pack it up in between laundry loads ;)
haha. such a silly way of being. guilt. But acknowledged and giggled at.
So, I am grateful to have an A/C unit in my apartment. The air is fresh and cool in here today, while out doors it is yucky, muggy and hot.
Well.. I guess thats all. I'll go do things now :D
I will write about Pinterest and how it inspires me. I will write about taking another day off. I will write about bread making and life changing.
.... Inspiration. for surely looking at Pinterest is like a huge choice-letting vision board. I get to scroll around through thousands of ideas that other people have gathered, decide which ones I like, and collect them. I get to learn how-to's and adjust my inner being to feel wonderful. Boy do I get lost on there. But it's really great.
I took today off. I decided I would like to have another day to do house-y things. I want to bake 4 more loaves of bread, and freeze them. I would like to strip the bed clothes and wash all of them. I want to sort out my kitchen cup boards. The tedious things are already done- laundry, dishes..
I still have a tiny piece of sneaky feeling going on for not going into the shop. I am trying to loose it in the dust. It wont go away till like 1 or 2.
It's there, because i know it is a privilege to own a shop, to open doors and be there for people. I know I support a community and they expect and look forward to me being in a certain place at a certain time. I know that I am a very lucky person, and I should always take 110% advantage of that gift. But you know what? Taking another day off kind of IS like taking advantage of the situations and gifts. Sure, it may be off-putting to a person or two (hopefully they forgive me), but I am not going to loose my job over it. I can go in tomorrow and lay claim, to my own ways of being. I am fully responsible. And that is a good thing for me. In knowing it is my own place, my own time, i am laying claim to my actions, as well as rewarding myself. Its like Taking an extra day off reminds me of what I have, how I do in my daily life, and allows appreciation for what I have. Today, I will catch up on the neglected things I, even with days off, can never seem to get to.
(my only fear is going outside to the laundry mat in daylight- haha! someone will catch me! maybe I will change the sheets, and wash the dirty ones after 5 tonight ;) HAH!)
so.. Bread. I am looking forward to making more bread.
Also, something I am noticing in my life is that I dont seem to need so much clutter. I am wishing I had some boxes up here today, pack up some random stuff so I have more room. Sneaking down for boxes may be in order, however. of course... I could pile all the extra on my dresser... and pack it up in between laundry loads ;)
haha. such a silly way of being. guilt. But acknowledged and giggled at.
So, I am grateful to have an A/C unit in my apartment. The air is fresh and cool in here today, while out doors it is yucky, muggy and hot.
Well.. I guess thats all. I'll go do things now :D
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