bed...

Wondering about witchy worlds and where my altar has gone... I have not had one up for months.
Autumn leaves swirl around my imagination and I have released my time frame of returning to New England. It was stressing me to the point of neglecting all the things I held dear in daily life.
I seem to have found my shoes again, my feet are laughingly planted on the ground.
Now, If I could only add the rite partner.... I really do want my person to run with. I have Maggie, but I have come to know I need an adult, too. She does in a way as well. Someone other than me, to interact with.
She starts school at a new place this year. I need a new Job. I have been Cabbing, and I absolutely adore it, but I don't think it will work with Maggie being home...
I will try though.
I am home, in my own bed, alone with the Dog. Erica and Chew are asleep in Maggie's room.
Maggie comes home Wednesday night.
Life. this Life.
This life....

Stay a Prayer for me... Miles to go before I sleep...

Listening to Sponge's Rotting Pinata, while Waiting for calls on Zombie Cabbie duty...
Soul stirring things....
Life has been so odd lately. Maggie has been away, and will be home soon.
We are supposed to move back to NH in October. I am working a lot. The Cabbie Gig is really good for me. It gets me out into the public again, with people. Makes me look at me, and see things, take some time for me with me and spruce me up a little. Kind of like a fun little game of play pretend. Made some new friends, some close people, and people I wonder how much will hurt to come circle with.
The moon has been amazing lately... I will miss the open desert sky. Quiet solitude does me so very well. Hope Maggie and I can come to an energetic agreement on this.
Kiesha is pregnant, boy should that be interesting.
Maggie is going to go to the school I went to as a child. I swore inside out I would never ever put her there... but need dictates.  And I hope it goes well. It's only a couple months.
I have been listening to different music, things I remember and things that are new.
Emotions are interesting lately.
Also I think I have met my match in attitude. I know it will end badly. But, for now, it entertains me.
I wonder what it will be like when Maggie comes home.
I wonder how leaving this place will be.
I will miss my nephew.
I am me.. again... someone I have been looking for a while.
I wonder how they will react back east to me...

Miles to go before I sleep...

todayis nice.

So, there's so much going on, I am working 2 jobs and the Herb work.. I am tired, happy, sad, worn, good, bad and all in between.
Going Back to NH is stirring up my life. Its all good. Old things need releasing, New things are glorious. Things I never thought I would have are coming into my life on real terms, and My community and I are getting so excited. I had my friend Sarah here for a week, that was so fun! Maggie is still in Nh, and I don't know if she's staying there or not. I kind of hope she is, for all intents and purposes of my working hard for the money to get the rest of our life there. At least that foot will be grounded in that place.
I have been Saging a lot, and thinking of making a sage soap. I also have orders to fill that I am waiting on supplies to do, the natural health food store has panned out better than i expected. There are etsy orders and things are good. I am healthy and happy with thoughts of my future.
It's damn hot in Az, and I am glad for my swampy cooler .
Well, suppose I should  get my tookis in gear and  do stuff....

How will it be?

Some days I still miss you so much. Songs in the air you tried to sing to me that I passed off, thinking you'd always be there. Things I took for granted, mannerisms we share.. Catching a glimpse of you in the background or hearing your voice. When you talk to me

I get lost. That hope I burry aches. 

I'm going home... I will see you again. 

And how will that be? 

Elephants in shoes.....

light

I will be spending a LOT of time lost outdoors in the wild while Maggie is away.
I have lost something I need to regain....
and Time seems to be of the essence to find it.

frustration.

I have been having issues with people as of late.
I feel as though I should just shut my mouth and wander off into the woods in my "hmmpf, fine." mode and allow myself to release.
I got into a discussion with a local about a rather ridiculous event that is ongoing in our town, a tragic one, and a messy one.
I was called a 'gossip' basically when trying to show my point had back up evidence of other people's witnessing events. I am just frustrated. People are so blind. I don't want people to get hurt. I want everything to be okay. And I cannot make people listen, everyone has their own reality..
so I just have to let it go.

How I feel.

Havent written in what seems like a long time, I don't want to write about the same thing or doom and gloom or blah blah blah.
I have been in a state of almost lost mode. Ruck-Sack thought process, of what now? I really don't know, I am just trying to keep my feet under me.
I had a job interview yesterday with Spectrum, the company I worked for a year ago, Good pay, steady work, will really be helpful in life presently.
I work at an inn, in Sedona rite now. It is a great atmosphere, and I really like it, I need more hours and closer to home presently, hence the interview. But, if i don't get the corporate gig, at least I still have something.
I am very much looking forward to having my truck in tip top shape soon. That is a prime directive.
I want to do much outdoorsness this summer, I may take some treks while Maggie is away. And probably even more when she returns. She goes to NH in the next few weeks.


Then there is life. My experience. I could reitterate about how I have been physically feeling very poorly, and about how I have been rather lost, but continue on. I could talk about my lack of ambition and inspiration, and how I feel rather empty... but what good would that do? So. I have decided to exclude all the things that make me feel poorly in my life, and hope that looking to include the things that would make me feel good, will bring about joy and inspiration.
 Maggs and I played at the river for 4 hours yesterday without even knowing it. We had a great time. I watched my nephew last night while my sister went out on the town, and that was good.
Today, I have some herbal work to do, and then I will again go to the river. That will be good. I really want to go up on the mountain, but am unsure about the drive. I may just chance it.
I have a feeling I will be doing better in the next few days, as I eliminate more negativity.
I quelled much of my stress points by ignoring the root of them, and doing what I can as I can.
I am doing what I know I have always appreciated in my previous life line, like having Jazz playing and making my house smell good...
I feel like I could hibernate for 10 years and then would feel refreshed though. I never feel rested, and My body is so heavy much of the time. It will change. Maybe I need to go on a raw diet for a while...
anyways. Life. I am alive, I think I will make rent this month, and I am directing myself to a better path of things that I want in life.
so. yea. those things.
Oh, and I went to Bailey Co. this past weekend with the new brother Eric and Maggie. I am so glad things turned out the way they did leading up to leaving for the trip, because Erica and I really got in some Bonding time. It was really good to see the family, especially Jackie.
Maggie did well on the trip. I like Bailey... reminds me of a more westernized New England of sorts. All I could think of was John Denver... of course.

 Me.. how I want to be....

 Me, Where I want to be....

 My time of year....

How I feel.