So. I do so much for everyone else, and i never feel fulfilled.
I paid rent today. I do this every month. I want to pay rent and have more then enough for me and for the vendors and bills and supplies to all be paid in full. Truth is- there never is enough. and we are going on 3 years of this. Every day for 3 years, save for when Isaac was here, i worry. It is adding years to my days. I want to be happy. It is time to look at what does and doesn't work in my life- time to take stock. I dont want to live the rest of my life this way. Im not really an herbalist- it is not my passion, it is something i learned. Passion is my passion, rousing the Rebels is my passion. Bringing people together is my passion. Promotion is my passion. Ideas are my passion, turning people onto new things is my passion. Connections and assembling things with and for people is my passion. I love event coordination. Maybe I can move more in that direction. I don't know... this shop thing seems to be the pits.... I need to just accept it and do something more adventurous. Maybe I could sell it. Maybe someone would want to buy it. Well. I have decided to give myself a time frame on the shop. In November, if we are still struggling like we do- I am changing locations in January, or calling it quits and Moving in with Michael. I will probably move in with Michael in October or November anyways.
I need to really start taking stock in what is good for me, and move in that direction. What is best for me, is my stuff. I love creating, as well- my painted things. I love my candles. Wicked Awesome Candle Company is pretty cool, and Can'Dles sell well. I love Mermaids and Fairies.
Im going to go rite now and paint some cans... see ya.