dump? sure. Twerking. Yes, i know we have bigger problems than miley cyrus, but jeezus, really? Ew and shameful. and is this a distraction put on by her beaing paid to attract the public's attention away from our gv't's actions? 'cause when I saw it- i really thought it was a publicity stunt. moving, doesnt feel real. job- which one and i make them up as i go. Always have, always will- when i was younger, i would think about what i wanted and i would have it, i would never settle for less. then came the time of pat and i started to not believe. and then the shop and more and now- now i am looking forward to the relit spark i miss. Orientation, i have another shot at being who i useto say- oh, maybe next life time. however, what do i want? i do not know. farm. it would be wonderful to work on one, to live on one and just be there. with maggs. school- she is NOT wanting to go. shes been sick today, and sheesh! mike. i realized i have never had whiskey before saturday night and i never will again. it makes me rage. no excuse and i am glad for the release, but wow! car- stupid damn not being done. oh well. clothes, want to dress nice again. cooler weather i am for sure looking forward to. inspiration, i love that too- who am i? what do i want? how shall i support my own self? so many ways it could all go, and so many avenues i can take. would i like a hole in the wall space to see people? do i want to try to help more? i do not want to be like the false prophets i know. i can be/do/have anything. what is it i want? ease, simplicity and goodness.. thats all. my life isnt that exciting anymore, ive done quite a bit of 'stuff', been many people, traveled the continental US.. proved that i am capable of anything and everything. now, i just want simple. i dont necessarily need to stand out. friends? some good some not so good. some who try to live through me like a movie and thats not healthy. yep. not okay either. some who can never tell the truth, but are always on your side. some who give shirts off their backs and in turn you feel like a looooser. hah. 36. shouldn't be in the position i am in, but will be changing it readily and never going back. girls. maybe. relationships? not for a long time. friends, dinners, groups, womens circles, intenders, healthy, energy, goodness. Autumn is coming. Moving, where should I go? anywhere I want? could be. could be. could be. rolli? 90% not wanting to be the place anymore. ive done my job here. farm in the mountains for the winter- maybe so, wouldn't that be nice. homeschool. that may happen. me n her. her n me. not much else matters. yea.. inspiration. would like some soul food. some new people, a new place and some quiet rejuvenation of good warm soul food. like a good loaf of sourdough and a smart bowl of soup ... and laughter. lots and lots of laughter. yes.
these things.
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