The Light of the Stars

There's always so much to say, throughout my days.. thoughts I have that I want to write down. Profound things I forget as I go through the unconscious motions of my time.. Things to be grateful for, things that I understand, things that occur.. but I loose them.
oh well.
things have been easier the past 2 days. No crying, and no static. I think K talked some sense into M one night upon a visit, because attitudes changed and all of a sudden he knew things, and that was helpful.
Nightmares. *sigh* My dreams have turned to traveling nightmares. Things I am afraid of in my sleep about traveling. Things that could go wrong.I wish for once I could dream nice things.
I want to be at peace in my sleep. I want to wake rejuvenated and happy. Like that one summer day when I was a teen. Everything was fresh and green and happy and beautiful.

The rest of life.. it is life. I am supposedly single, though it makes no difference. I live in a communal setting where we work things for the kids above all else. Began standing up for myself a couple weeks ago. Realized I have drown myself in negative people and circumstances too long, and it has really changed who I am. My sense of self is out of alignment and I have not been happy for a long time. Good to know, takes time to change. I am looking forward to positive experiences and people. I would like to meet new people who share my interests and are fun. I am looking forward to starting a new career- whatever that is. I want to be clear, happy and good again.

THAT is my goal.