...and laundry.

well, so, early morning Wednesday, and I am thinking.
I had had something to do EVERY day for 3 years straight. I had a mission each day, a routine. It was imperative that I get up, get dressed and get to the shop. And I did this with Me, and Maggie and that's all. I had a point, a purpose and a prime directive. Every day- a goal.
Now- now, I have freelance life. I don't HAVE to do anything- I do what I have inspiration for.
(a side note- there is a piece in me that is petrified to go back to shop-life. I don't know that I EVER want to experience the heartbreak of what happened at the end again. I think a piece of me hides from the world and shivers and cries - 'no' in the back of my soul... just sayin')
However.
This doesn't seem to be going well lately. I don't have drive.
Sure, I went to that job for a week, and sure, It was so bad that I quit, took stock and was gun-ho again... for a week.
Today, not so much. My issue is that I have work to do- but balancing it with house and the people I live with... ugh.
There is no excuse for it.
I want to be inspired, I want to be driven, I want to accomplish amazing things.
Lately- piles of papers, to-do's and laundry wreck my brain and drain my drive. (and I am not even DOING these things)
I havn't been doing my 'morning work' lately. I am uninspired.
It is important to do these things, it keeps me in the Flow... but I haven't been doing them. And so, no flow.
But there are birds, and there is slight accomplishments here and there. I got Mike a car. I registered it for him. I tried making some new teas. (which I need to revamp or not bother with)
Yard work last week totally kicked my ass. How? NO CLUE.
Well, I'm lieing.
I know how come.
I know that it's because I am not living how I know to live. I am not doing those things that make my heart sing.
Gawd I don't want to be one of the lost. I want to sing, dance, be happy within self so I always shine and have over flow for others.
I think its about drainage. I think that living with a BF is VERY demanding on energy levels, that all the extra, he takes.
I cannot be resentful, there are good things. I have always tried to leave, because I wonder how good it is for me, for some one to drain my life. *sigh*
Maybe some magic and shielding is needed. Some FE's and EO's and such. and a Vision Board.
I wish the weather would warm already. I am ready.
well... worm bin wednesday.
and Shower
and basement. Yep. thats what today is.
...and laundry.