My Spirit is Crying for leaving...

I busied myself all day- planting, doing what I know to automatically do.
... but now the sun is setting.
And I can't hide from my ache. I gave it my best shot all day.
I have a soul hang-over... I have felt like someone died all day.
Like the feeling we are left with, three days after a horrid tragedy.
I am doing my best.. but in quiet pauses, my eyes water.. I just want my brother.... I just want to go home.
I sat there, in Jerome, in old bar seats, just Be-ing. I was comfortable, at home. I was whole. My brother was down the mountain and he would be getting me.
I was at ease, Sleeping in pillow bed of normalcy. The protector and understanding snoring softly beside me, I knew when I woke all would be okay that day.
Sounds strange, but when the only person you have ever truly loved is so far from you, you cry.
Much.
I didn't have the closeness of a mother, a father.. I didn't have the gift of growing up being given chances and understanding. I never had a parent to rely on, to trust-
I only had Him. My Brother. The other half of my soul, the person who understands me when I speak and makes me laugh when I am broken....
But not now. Not 3,000 miles away
..Yesterday my soul screamed, unknown to the thousands of strangers around me-
" Today the tops of the clouds are evil as I sit here captive, returning to the place that I've been held to for so long. Resentment seethes with every breath, tears well every moment. I am torn from my land and my brother- again. I do not want this nightmare. I can no longer hold a face of glee at the people and places I dwell. Anger flows from me as I reel against these wings that carry me back to my cell- back to where my soul is drained and my being is stretched by every living thing in all directions like a sucking black hole. I will rebel against the restraints that will try to hold me- But no longer will I be contained.
I am done."

I think I have paid my dues. I think I have done enough.
I want to go home now.