Saturday Clouds and Sky

Every Day, I would Write in my 'Gratitude Journal'
I have had total faith that affirming the good in my life would lead to more and more good.
I have for sure done the work... for years.
I always wonder, if I could do it more deeply, more dovoutly. If i havn't done it without enough doubt. If that is why I am still in the same situation I am in.
And I look around. I have done much. I have set up an apartment, with lots of comforts. I have made it so Maggie and I can eat, and eat well. Maggie has health insurance. We have cats and a Dog.
I built a beautiful shop, and have built a customer base on my own.
My life is pretty comfortable. (save for the money issues)
Do I claim the money issues? Apparently I do. I talk about them all the time, I am always thinking about them, affirming them that they are there.
Do I even believe my own words that I give to others? When I am in the midst of Universal happenings, yes. I do see many instances where the Quantum comes out, and the Universe does it's foldy warpy thing or glitches and I go- Oh, yea... there it is.
And at those points I know we are the true creators.
Probably if all the Money stuff was easy, I would have something else go on that would cause contrast.... and if it were things like figuring out how to better serve people spiritually, hey, that would be a-okay with me. I know we have to have balance. 
So, Anyways...
I want a healthy happy bank account... well, all of my accounts to be healthy and happy and flowing full of money,
and I want to be secure financially, and healthy, and happy. And I want to help where I can in this world.
I want to teach, to show a good way of being. I have a tendency to get all excited about some things- like sustainability. The fact that we live here in a place where there is so much wasted potential, baffles me. These buildings downtown could each be almost self-sustaining save for water (and with wells, we could even be so there). We could grow food on the sides, have solar powered all things... so much potentiality.
I feel like I could show a new way of living if given the opportunity.
I once told Isaac I wanted to be paid for my ideas, "Think-Tank Dawnie"
I want to show people we have complete infinite potential to do so many things, available space to be-do-have on so many levels.
This is what keeps me going.
This is the spark of the Divine that I, Myself carry. These Potentiality Ideas.
*sigh*
Pay off now, okay? Allow me to do my work in this world without being so scared all the time, OKAY? Give me the means financially to do big things for people who need it. (sigh.... unless I *NEED* this contrast to keep me in perspective and understanding) BUT I wont looooooose it, I Promise!! I will stay humble, I will continue to help, I will do my work, and Be your light, just help me to do it with ease and joy by providing me with the financial backing to DO these things easily in this society. (I'm not Mother Theresa... *sigh*)
...And I don't want to be my mother.
(Yes, I can hear you..... I Hear you Universe. I would just really like to take Maggie on trains, and to Paris and such....I know I can do anything, and I know I am a Way-Shower.... but... *sigh*..... ) Sustainability.
....Me.