So, here I sit. I know I will soon be interrupted by random people. I dont want to be, I want to stay here in the quiet.
I have made a decision to apply to the Shipyard and get a good job. I will be closing the shop. I have come to terms with it about 95%. (well, maybe honestly 85%) I am pushing to be strong and go into what I want to do.
I have grown very tired of not having what I want in life, and at this rate, with the shop, I do not see how I would or could ever get my house and land. I know that I preach to stay strong in the Universe, to always affirm good and positive - but there comes a time when just sitting on your but affirming and gratitude-ing becomes pointless and stale.
So up I stand, and Off I walk in the direction of solid work for my goal.
I am wanting so many things, and this is NOT the way to get them. It is a beautiful thing, this shop- but, as a young single mother, it is not the way to make Maggie and I's dreams come true.
I am tired today- again. I could sleep for another 4 hours and be happy with it.
I have to talk to Shirl about my decisions. I also am going to sit with Michael today and talk about saving up money to get a house at the end of October. 
I dont want to stay with the Cutters.. I want a fresh start.
...and a yard.
 got lost on this... it is now 5 p.m. and i started it at 10 am